We could not have asked for a better week. Jake's party was the 27th. It was amazing to see the turn out and see the excitement on Jake's face when he saw the back yard set up like a splash park with the sprinkler, kids pool, water balloons and squirt guns. He was so excited all his friends where there. He had so many presents. It was a blast. Then the excitement continued at the circus on the 28th. It was his first time and Sean had never been either so it was a good family outing for us full of firsts. Sean and I both had short weeks at work. We both had Friday Saturday and Sunday off for the our anniversary which was the 4th. On Friday Sean and I went to breakfast and then saw the movie the Hangover. It was very funny. We are so glad we were able to get out without the kids so that we could go see it. It was worth it.
Then Saturday the 4th was our anniversary. Sean started the day by making me breakfast in bed. It was amazing. Then we took the kids to the park so that Jake could ride his new bike. When we got home we had lunch and put the kids down for a nap and made chocolate fondue. We grilled hamburgers for dinner and watched fireworks. It was a really nice to be together all day as a family and celebrate two years together on Americas 255th birthday.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I run my life or is it running me..?
Well hello to the dark hole that is the Internet. Its time I write to you to get off my chest what I cant rely on others to understand. I had a hard day. A hard week. I have reached a point where I feel as if I am spinning out of control down a dead end street.
Something broke today and I cried. Its not really one person or one thing that is causing my anxiety. Its life. Its the hard stuff that no one wants to talk about. Its all the hard work no one notices, its all the pressure to work harder, all the loop holes in the system you have to find on your own. Its "money doesn't grow on trees". Why cant life be more cut and dry. Who woke up one morning and said lets make things difficult? Why would they do that? Don't tell me it was to teach me and make me stronger. Just don't say it.
This week I thought my American dream was going to come true. Until I got slapped in the face with reality. Its going to be so much harder than anyone ever made it seem. Why cant people just tell the cold hard truth. Why cant they say I just bought a home and it was not easy it took this and that and you have to do this and wait for that. No one has ever been honest with me they have always said..." look at my new house, its great, it was so easy to get, I had nothing down and look at all my brand new furniture..." What a load of dodo. They lie because once the process is over they are filled with a great since of accomplishment, they become so happy they don't want to say it was hard they want to be proud and say look what I did. They don't want to talk about how they had to sell their kidney to the devil to make it work.
I am throwing my first birthday party for Jake in just under 10 hours and I am still awake talking to you and correcting my tired hands with spell check.
Whats worse is my husband was very rude to me yesterday. He did not understand my stress so he shut down. When I needed his support and his friendship he was not there to help. "I run to him", in everything, I run to him. Yesterday I had no one to run to. So here I am talking to space. Hoping that it helps me move on. Hoping that it helps me see the facts and what little good there is and just keep running on.
I am blessed to have what I have. So many have so much less.
Good night Brittany
Something broke today and I cried. Its not really one person or one thing that is causing my anxiety. Its life. Its the hard stuff that no one wants to talk about. Its all the hard work no one notices, its all the pressure to work harder, all the loop holes in the system you have to find on your own. Its "money doesn't grow on trees". Why cant life be more cut and dry. Who woke up one morning and said lets make things difficult? Why would they do that? Don't tell me it was to teach me and make me stronger. Just don't say it.
This week I thought my American dream was going to come true. Until I got slapped in the face with reality. Its going to be so much harder than anyone ever made it seem. Why cant people just tell the cold hard truth. Why cant they say I just bought a home and it was not easy it took this and that and you have to do this and wait for that. No one has ever been honest with me they have always said..." look at my new house, its great, it was so easy to get, I had nothing down and look at all my brand new furniture..." What a load of dodo. They lie because once the process is over they are filled with a great since of accomplishment, they become so happy they don't want to say it was hard they want to be proud and say look what I did. They don't want to talk about how they had to sell their kidney to the devil to make it work.
I am throwing my first birthday party for Jake in just under 10 hours and I am still awake talking to you and correcting my tired hands with spell check.
Whats worse is my husband was very rude to me yesterday. He did not understand my stress so he shut down. When I needed his support and his friendship he was not there to help. "I run to him", in everything, I run to him. Yesterday I had no one to run to. So here I am talking to space. Hoping that it helps me move on. Hoping that it helps me see the facts and what little good there is and just keep running on.
I am blessed to have what I have. So many have so much less.
Good night Brittany
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